Miscarriage can be a traumatic experience. It is important to take care of yourself after a miscarriage.
Participants identified a need for informal and formal care networks to provide informational, esteem, and network support. Peers who had experienced miscarriage often provided this necessary support.
While it may be tempting to try for a new pregnancy right away, it is important to give yourself time to grieve.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
The loss of a pregnancy, no matter how early in the process, can be traumatic and is certainly an emotional loss. But the grief that surrounds miscarriage can be especially difficult as most people don’t know what to say and may even try to minimize the loss by saying things like, “You can always get pregnant again,” or “It wasn’t really a real pregnancy anyway.”
It’s also common for women who have experienced a miscarriage to feel pain and sadness when hearing about other pregnant friends or family members, seeing baby announcements on Facebook, or missing important due dates and anniversaries associated with the lost pregnancy. It’s important to give yourself time and space to grieve, even if you’re not sure how long that might be. Some mothers had tattoos for miscarriage to grieve and remember their children.
Grieving is a personal experience and there are no right or wrong ways to do it. Some people may choose to be very public in their grief by telling everyone they know, holding a memorial service, or keeping baby mementos around. Others will prefer to be private by confiding in only a few close friends and family, or not saying anything at all. It’s normal to go through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — but it’s important to remember that there is no time limit or milestones.
It’s also important to remember that you and your partner both have feelings about this loss. While your spouse or significant other may not experience the same exact emotions as you, they are likely to be affected by it and need their own space and support. This is also a good time to consider seeking counseling.
Stay Connected with Your Friends and Family
Often, when someone suffers a miscarriage it can make them feel isolated. They may not know who to tell and are uncomfortable talking about it with friends and family. Miscarriage is an extremely common event, but it is still a painful and lonely experience for many women. This is especially true because most miscarriages happen in the first three months, which means that most women have not told their loved ones yet or are in the process of telling them.
This is why it’s so important for people to reach out and be there for those that they care about. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, but a simple text or phone call can help them to know that they are not alone and that they are supported.
While it is okay to offer support and love, never minimize the loss by saying things like, “at least it wasn’t that far along” or, “it must be easier because it happened early.” These statements can be incredibly hurtful and send the message that they didn’t matter or that the pregnancy wasn’t as big of a deal as a healthy one.
Additionally, don’t ask them when they plan on trying to conceive again or if they are going to have more children. While it is understandable to want to grow a family, this is something that is very personal and should be decided when they are ready. Instead, you can offer to help with childcare or even babysit for an evening, if needed. Offer to take them out for a meal or make them dinner. If they have any other children, offer to entertain them or take them on a day trip.
Take Care of Yourself Physically
Many women who experience a miscarriage also have to deal with physical symptoms like fatigue and headaches. This makes self-care even more important. Eating well, getting plenty of sleep and engaging in regular exercise can help relieve these symptoms. It’s also a good idea to avoid caffeine and alcohol, as both can exacerbate symptoms.
As you start taking better care of yourself, you may find that your emotional state improves as well. You might notice that your mood swings are less extreme, or that you’re able to spend more time with friends and family members without feeling guilty about it. It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions after a miscarriage, but it’s essential to monitor them and seek professional help if you begin to develop severe symptoms, such as depression.
It can be tough for women who have experienced a miscarriage to hear other people talk about their pregnancies. If you know someone who recently lost a baby, try to be respectful of their space by not posting pregnancy announcements on social media, and avoiding asking them about their experience.
You can also support a friend who has had a miscarriage by helping them with daily tasks, like cooking, cleaning and shopping. You can also encourage them to seek counseling, if they’re interested in doing so. And if they have any other children, you can offer to help with childcare or entertain them. It’s a great idea to help them find a support group for women who have suffered similar losses, as this can be a source of community and mutual understanding during an emotionally intense period of life. It’s also a good idea for them to get plenty of rest and to avoid upsetting media, like violent movies or upsetting news stories.
Talk to Your Doctor
Miscarriage is a difficult topic for many people, and even in our increasingly accepting culture, it’s still often something women have to face alone. Even when family and friends are willing to talk about it, they may say insensitive things or avoid the subject altogether, further isolating them. And even if they’re not saying anything wrong, it can be painful for someone to see a loved one suffering, especially when they don’t know how best to help.
Depending on how far along you were in the pregnancy, it can be hard to understand what caused your miscarriage and it’s common to start second-guessing yourself, wondering what you could have done differently. This is completely normal, but it’s important to remember that miscarriage is a natural occurrence and there is no reason to feel guilty about it.
It’s also a good idea to make sure you keep in touch with your doctor after a miscarriage, particularly if you had to take medication to help speed up the process. Medications such as misoprostol or mifepristone cause the body to expel the embryo and tissue within a few hours, though this will be painful. It’s also a good idea to discuss with your doctor whether it’s okay for you to resume activities such as exercise and sex, or if you should wait until after your miscarriage has completely passed before trying again.
If you have other children, help your partner think of ways to explain the loss in an age-appropriate way. You can also be helpful by offering to entertain or care for them so that your partner can focus on grieving in peace. If you have insurance or a healthcare plan that covers mental health care, consider a session with a therapist or counselor to help sort through the grief.
Seek Counseling
For many women, miscarriage can leave a lasting impact on their mental health. They may experience feelings of guilt, fear, or anxiety that can be difficult to manage. If these symptoms persist, it’s important to seek professional help. A counselor or therapist can provide a safe and supportive environment for a woman to work through her emotions and grieve the loss of her pregnancy.
A therapist can also teach her coping skills to help reduce the severity of these symptoms and improve her overall well-being. They can also be helpful in breaking the stigma that surrounds miscarriage and letting women know they are not alone in their grief.
In addition to seeking mental health care, it’s important for a woman to take care of herself physically after a miscarriage. This includes staying hydrated, eating healthy foods, and getting enough sleep. It’s also a good idea to get regular exercise, which can help reduce stress and boost endorphins.
Finally, it’s important to remember that a miscarriage can affect men as well as women. A recent study published in the Journal of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found that men who experience a miscarriage feel just as much grief as women do. Men may also experience difficulty expressing their emotions or may mask their grief. A gynecologist or mental health professional can help a man navigate these emotions.
A miscarriage can be a devastating experience for anyone, regardless of gender or relationship status. However, the physical and emotional impacts can be even more severe for women who have experienced multiple miscarriages. By taking the steps above, a woman can heal and move forward with her life after a miscarriage.
